Thank you to everyone who commented and reached out after my last post. You're all very kind, and it was lovely to see some names I haven't seen post for a very long time. Seeing all the comments meant a lot and helped in what was a horrible day. And thank you to madam_beetroot for your card and lovely message that arrived this morning. I don't mind lurkers at all, but know I'm always here to talk to if you feel the need.

I've been to nanna's today to start help clear her house. I got to take a variety of things that meant a lot to me, nothing expensive or even useful in cases, but things that hold deep memories and I'll always treasure. I'm not going to lie, it was hard being there without her, but it has to be done. It's the first time I've helped break down a house, when dad died Pauline was obviously left behind, so it didn't have to be done. And 97 years of life leads to a lot of things to sort through.

Tomorrow it's my one year post op hospital appointment. So expect one final naval gazing post when I'm home from that.

Finally, mini_wrimo is taking sign ups atm on both DW and LJ. I love that challenge a lot and I'll be signing up soon. It's very low key and you can set your daily word target as low or high as you like. As I have very little brain right now, I'm setting my bar low and going for 100 words a day. Who knows, I may even get a ficlet out of it somehow.

Nanna isn't doing well at the moment.

( cut for talk of imminent death )

ETA: I got a call and she's gone.

Nanna Rosie, I love you so so much.

I did get a dress, and we picked up James' tux the other day, so we're pretty much set now. If you're interested, I posted the dress on insta here. Not the best of photos, and I need to decide what to do in terms of hair styles, but you get the idea.

Kayleigh had a lovely birthday, but when she got there the staff told her the room was haunted, so her and her gf spent the night expecting to see ghosts and saying they were going to sleep in the car. Apparently the room we'd chosen for them has been featured on Most Haunted, and the hotel itself left an A4 sheet of paper talking about the supposed hauntings. But they did stay -- and slept in the bed -- so all was well.

We went to see The Snowman yesterday, and like many films lately, I enjoyed it much more than I expected.

I'm so glad James finishes his set of days today. Normally the early starts don't bother me, but I've been dragging the last two days. We were even in bed by 9 last night, and I had a good sleep, but still feel like I need more.

Tomorrow is, must buy a dress day, so we're off to Metrocentre first thing. I've tried some on, now it's making a decision and checking out underwear as it's pointless getting the strapless dress if I can't get a bra to go with it. We also need to pick up James' tux. We ended up just buying in the end as hiring would have only been a little cheaper, plus they couldn't adjust the arms. This way he's got a suit tailored to fit him, which will look so much better.

I often dream about Camp Sparkle people, and last nights merits a mention simply because dream!me asked dream!Sperrywink if she'd beta for me. Which isn't unusual, what was though was I'd apparently written something 500k long, and had given her the first half to beta, with the second half being sent the next day. I just wish I knew what fandom/story it was. It could have been a sign for the future!

It's Kayleigh's birthday on Thursday. It was also my nephews on Sunday and my other nephews on Friday -- stupid birthday clusters! Kayleigh loves animals and phoned to ask if on her birthday we could go on a family day out to a safari park where you can feed giraffes. Which would be great, but mam's booked her a surprise stay in Lumley Castle on her birthday. She's gone all out with extras to the room, but put Kayleigh off by saying she didn't want to go on her trip, couldn't sit that long, why would she want to feed a giraffe etc, which of course made Kayleigh angry as she thought mam was doing her usual thing of spoiling occasions. In the end mam had to tell her she'd arranged something, but not what. Surprises, they really have the potential to blow up in your face.

I need go start something for tea now, but tonight is about relaxing, a long bath while reading Musketeer fic, a face mask, hair washed and conditioned, and then Bake Off. I've also got my eye on the BBB posted stories but I suspect they'll be left for a bit later.

Nanna is still in the hospital. She's had a bad time of it, and in fact, after contacting sepsis we nearly lost her last week. Twice I visited and honestly thought I'd never see her again. The nurse even said no way should she have lasted the night, but she did.

She's a bit better now. Lucid again, but not eating and gets confused. Yesterday she kept saying she didn't know what she was supposed to be doing and had we ever gone through something like this. When her main heart doctor found out the treatment she'd had he wasn't pleased and has said if she goes downhill again she's to have no treatment except things to make her comfortable. No more x-rays or blood tests etc. He's said she'll never go home again, but I don't know if she'll end up in a nursing home, or stay in hospital, or just slip away. Any could happen. It doesn't help she's on a geriatric acute ward, so the ladies around her are seriously ill and keep dying.

She's always said she would go when she was 97, and it looks like she's going to get her wish. She's ready, and logically I know she's ready, but selfishly, I'm not at all. This photo was taken just two days after we thought we'd lose her, you can hardly believer she was at death's door so soon before.

But, things aren't all bad. It's Houghton Feast time, so I've been down to see the opening ceremony and to the parade. Sunderland illuminations have kicked off so I've been there on opening night, and went on the big wheel with James and my oldest nephew. If you're interested some photos of those are on my insta

I've seen Kingsman and Flatliners at the cinema. Been to see Hairspray at the theatre, been to Mog on the Tyne. Took mam out shopping where she actually managed to walk without her stick for a while and we had a lovely day together. And today I discovered my Durham Wasps jacket finally fits me \o/ Okay, so this jacket. For those who don't know the Wasps are my beloved hockey team that were ripped away from Durham and then eventually disbanded by the odious John Hall. Well before that I bought an official jacket, and could never fit into it. I'd bought the biggest size available, but it didn't even come close to zipping up, so I just shoved it in my wardrobe and forgot about it.

Today I tried it, and it fit nicely, which means I'm now a smaller size than I was when I was 19. It's also good as the other day I tried on my winter coats and they're both too big. One even fit over both me and James together and easily zipped up. I've a photo of that, not that it was easy, the both of us crab walking together to hit the button on the phone that was propped up on the mantle piece. But yeah, I can finally wear my Wasps jacket, which is bright blue and yellow, so I won't get missed in a crowd *g*

James also got his Christmas work rota today, and is off Christmas eve and Christmas day, days on Boxing day, and then nights over New Years eve and day, which is pretty much the best it could be. Well, obviously I'd like him to be off Boxing day too to hit the Lush sale but as rotas go it's a good one.